What are the roles of biblical husbands and wives?

What is the biblical role of a husband? 

 Many people today are confused about what the Bible teaches regarding the role of a husband in marriage. Some think that husbands are supposed to be authoritarian leaders who make all the decisions and expect their wives to obey them without question. Others think that husbands are supposed to be passive partners who let their wives take charge and do whatever they want. Neither of these views is accurate or biblical. 

 The biblical role of a husband is to be the head of his wife, as Christ is the head of the church (Ephesians 5:23). This means that he has the responsibility to lead, protect, provide for, and love his wife as Christ does for his church. He is not a tyrant who abuses his authority, nor is he a weakling who abdicates his responsibility. He is a servant-leader who seeks the best for his wife and family, even if it means sacrificing his own interests or preferences. 

 A biblical husband honors his wife as a fellow heir of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7). He respects her as a person made in God’s image, with gifts, talents, opinions, and emotions. He does not belittle her, criticize her, or take advantage of her. He listens to her, values her, and seeks to understand her. He treats her as his equal partner in God’s grace, not as his inferior or his property. 

 A biblical husband delights in his wife as a gift from God (Proverbs 18:22). He rejoices in her beauty, her character, her faith, and her achievements. He praises her for her virtues and encourages her in her goals. He does not compare her to other women or make her feel insecure or inadequate. He cherishes her as his most precious treasure and nurtures her as his most delicate flower. 

 A biblical husband loves his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25). He demonstrates his love by his words and actions. He speaks kindly and truthfully to her. He acts generously and faithfully toward her. He is gentle and compassionate with her. He is loyal and committed to her. He is willing to die for her if necessary, but more importantly, he is willing to live for her every day. 

 The biblical role of a husband is not easy or simple. It requires courage, wisdom, grace, and strength. It also requires humility, repentance, forgiveness, and growth. No husband can fulfill this role perfectly or consistently. That is why every husband needs the help of God’s Spirit, God’s Word, God’s people, and God’s grace. But with God’s help, every husband can aspire to this role and strive to fulfill it by God’s power. 

What is the biblical role of a wife?

The biblical role of a wife is a topic that has been debated and discussed for centuries. Some people think that a wife should be submissive, obedient, and silent, while others think that a wife should be independent, assertive, and vocal. What does the Bible actually say about the role of a wife? How can a Christian woman fulfill her calling as a wife in a way that honors God and her husband? 

 According to the Bible, a wife is a helper, a companion, a witness, an example, and a steward of God’s grace. Let’s look at each of these roles in more detail. 

 – A helper: The first mention of a wife in the Bible is in Genesis 2:18, where God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” The word “helper” does not imply inferiority or weakness, but rather strength and support. A wife is to help her husband in his God-given tasks and responsibilities, such as leading the family, providing for their needs, and serving the Lord. A wife is to be her husband’s companion, to work alongside him in the work the Lord has set them to: the raising up of the next generation of believers. A helper does not compete with her husband, but complements him. 

 – A companion: The Bible also describes a wife as a friend and partner of her husband. In Proverbs 31:11-12, we read that “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” A wife is to love her husband with respect, kindness, loyalty, and faithfulness. She is to share his joys and sorrows, his hopes and fears, his dreams and challenges. She is to be his confidant, his counselor, his cheerleader, and his comforter. 

 – A witness: A wife is also called to be a witness of Christ to her husband, especially if he is not a believer. In 1 Peter 3:1-2, we read that “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” A wife is to demonstrate the gospel by her godly conduct, her gentle spirit, her humble attitude, and her good deeds. She is to show her husband the love of Christ by respecting his authority, honoring his decisions, and supporting his leadership. 

 – An example: A wife is also expected to be an example of godliness to others, especially to younger women. In Titus 2:4-5, we read that older women are to “urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” A wife is to teach and mentor younger wives by her words and actions. She is to model what it means to be a woman of noble character, wisdom, strength, dignity, and grace. 

– A steward: Finally, a wife is also a steward of God’s gifts and resources. She is entrusted with managing the household affairs, such as caring for the children, preparing meals, keeping things clean, organizing schedules, budgeting finances, etc. She is to use her talents and abilities for God’s glory and her family’s good. She is to be diligent, prudent, generous, creative, and industrious. 

These are some of the roles that the Bible assigns to a wife. Of course, these roles are not exhaustive or exclusive. There may be variations depending on different situations and circumstances. The main point is that a wife is to fulfill her roles in submission to God’s will and in obedience to His word. She is not to seek her own interests or glory, but rather seek God’s kingdom and righteousness. She is not to conform to the world’s standards or expectations, but rather transform by the renewing of her mind. She is not to rely on her own strength or wisdom, but rather depend on God’s grace and power.